Happily ever after. What does it mean to you?
As a child, I didn’t think much about fairy tales or what magical outcome I wanted to have happen to me. I just know that when I was in my early 20s, a guy friend told me there was no such thing as fairy tales and I wanted to punch him in the mouth (okay, just kidding). As I got older, I realized that making fairy tales come true is part of my soul calling.
I have tons of fairy tale books on my bookshelf but what I discovered is that I prefer to write them more than read them. Today I want to talk about how we know what our happily ever after is and how to get there.
My version of happily ever after, perhaps like yours, is more about the self. I wasn’t an ordinary girl waiting to be a Princess. Rather, I activated the Goddess and Queen within me, saved myself, met my King, and rescued him, too.
Maybe this is the female empowerment version of a modern–day fairy tale (heehee!). But even with our modern–day stories and circumstances, the element that all good fairy tales have is magic.
What I mean by magic is, fairy tales don’t arrive by our own effort. It takes the effort of the universe, our own healing, and the orchestration of others around us to bring about this outcome.
Even if we think our version of a fairy tale means being a hermit that spends time with cats and good books, we are still reliant on others to bring us those cats and write and publish those good books. It’s a universal effort. (Which means, your work could be the answer to someone else’s fairy tale!)
Where magic comes in is when the right cat arrives into our lives as well as the exact books that entertain us, teach us, inspire us, or trigger us onto new roads and adventures. These synchronicities that occur aren’t by our own effort at all. They come from the divine and from our internal guidance leading us to what makes us deliciously happy.
I bet you can think of many instances where these magical synchronicities plopped into your life or your lap from seemingly out of nowhere. It’s as if a fairy godmother poofed exactly what we wanted and needed out of thin air, and that thing is now ours by magic!
Therefore, I feel that happily ever after must still include the element of perfectly orchestrated circumstances that seem random but aren’t. They are slices of divine intervention and because of that, happily ever after must include working together with the universe and your divine team.
It was Alan Watts who said that if everything was about the destination, then musicians would only play the last note of the song. That’s the thing about happily ever after, too. The way there is just as important as (or maybe more than) arriving at the destination.
I mean, destinations always change. Who is to say that along the way, we won’t change our minds as to what happily ever after is for us? (I’ve changed my mind lots and probably will continue to!) If we make happily ever after as our process, it would mean that we can be happy now instead of later.
I used to think I’ll only be satisfied and considered myself successful was when I had XYZ. Was I wrong! After I spent ten years healing myself, I realized I didn’t care about any of the things I thought I wanted. I only wanted them so I could impress other people. Pffft.
The destination in our mind represents our idea of perfection and that sure can be a beautiful vision. But we can’t suffer our way there to that beautiful vision or make misery of it because if we didn’t enjoy getting there, we won’t enjoy staying there or continuing to unfold that happily ever after.
Enjoyment is really everything!
Every Monday, I contemplate on what I would like to accomplish for the week. Some weeks, all I feel guided to do is to enjoy myself, enjoy breathing, enjoy the moment, and enjoy the bit of writing that I am doing. Because if it’s not fun, then what’s the point, right?
Healing is most certainly a part of (for me, the biggest part of) the road of happily ever after. I can’t say how many times I thought I wanted something only to do healing and realize what I wanted wasn’t what I actually wanted (it was more to impress others or to feel important).
When we heal, we discover what we actually want from soul vs. what we think we want, or what we are told to want. Imagine spending huge chunks of your time, life and energy chasing after what actually doesn’t bring you joy. Isn’t that the majority of the world right now? Mm–hmm.
The other reason healing is necessary is because we are often afraid of getting what we want. Our mouths and heads might tell ourselves and others, I WANT THIS! I NEED THIS! I MUST HAVE IT NOW! But in reality, in our energy, we might be blocking it or pushing it away. I’ve experienced this so many times. I will shout adamantly that I want love only to discover I was pushing it away out of fear of intimacy.
The big bad wolves, evil characters and horrible stepsisters in fairy tales, I discovered, aren’t actually that far from reality. On the road of happily ever after, depending on your soul contract, it is possible that you will encounter some sort of evil that you’ll have to slay or overcome.
On my journey, I’ve healed from narcissistic abuse and also healed from people putting hexes and doing voodoo on me. I feel our world has always had evil characters, but because the consciousness of our planet is expanding, those evil characters are coming out of the woodwork more. They’re all exposed now (as you can tell) and those of us who carry light in our souls feel called to meet this darkness and to overpower it (with even more light).
For lightworkers, bringing light to darkness is part of happily ever after. It’s not just because of ‘slaying’ the evil. Through healing the abuse and fighting the hexes and voodoo spells, I’ve come to know my own power and strength as well as vulnerability and reaching a new level of intimacy with the universe. I found self–love on someone else’s battlefield and also learned what it means to love others unconditionally, even when they are cutting me. Forgiving evil is *hugely* happily ever after.
Ooh, I used to be the Queen of Action. I loved doing stuff that pushed me out of my comfort zone just to prove to myself that I was ‘bad’ and fearless.
Now, I’m the Queen of Wait–and–See–Then–Act. I’ve learned to slow down my response to things instead of jumping at every thought or idea that comes to me. Surely, I don’t get as much quantity done as I used to, but was the quantity necessary anyway? Methinks not…
Through transformation, I feel calmer and more measured in my approach to life. Even during so–called emergencies, I have found myself not jumping into action but slowing down to feel my way through and to feel what is truth vs. fear or illusion. Using my intuition helps me know what feels right for me and what doesn’t. I actually really enjoy staying out of my mind and more in my body and heart where I can sense myself.
I love being with myself, especially before I do anything. Even before I put something on the calendar, I sense into the future how that particular day or time feels for doing that thing. As best as I can, I schedule things only for when they feel just right.
In the past, I would just cram into my day with what I thought I should be doing. My to–do list ran for miles and later I realized none of that was what I wanted. I literally busied myself with manifesting things I didn’t want!
My life is a whole lot less doing and a whole lot more sensing, feeling and unfolding. Not chasing. I’ve learned that what I chase runs away from me but if I stay still, what is meant for me will come.
It’s like that Rumi quote: “When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.”
When you do that, you shall discover the ultimate wisdom and gem of happily ever after. Which is:
I bet you were waiting for me to say that. It’s not because I’m some kind of Zen Buddhist that only talks about the present moment as if the past and the future don’t exist—they do. It is because happily ever after isn’t just what happens “after” the struggle, or the healing, or reaching forgiveness, acceptance, success, love and the like.
As you know, all time exists now. The past, the present, and the future are all occurring at once. That means, to be happily ever after, you will want to be happily ever now because your after is actually happening now. Get it? (Heehee!)
It’s not just about what you do today affects your tomorrow. It’s more than that. It is literally your past, present and future are ONE. It’s all happening, all at once, now. Happy now means happy after, and vice versa.
This has to do with another thing called timelines which I shall explain in detail in another post.
So there ya have it. To create happily ever after, heal yourself, clarify your desires, unfold not chase, and don’t forget to engage in the magic of the universe.
La la la!