I Love Me So Much
Recently, I have been having a wonderful time engaging with my body in enjoyable and sensual ways. Somehow, my intuition led me to do qigong again. My first time trying it was ten years ago, right at the beginning of my spiritual awakening. At the time, I didn’t connect to it emotionally and because the movement was so gentle, I even wondered if anything was happening!
This time, it was different. In years past, whenever I wanted to lose weight or feel better in my body, I would opt for exercises that felt like a workout but I didn’t like much (except for Zumba, but nowadays I don’t think my sensitivity would allow me to bear the volume or beat of the music). Five to six days a week, I spent more than an hour at the gym, many times with a personal trainer, doing heavy cardio and weight lifting. I also loved the kickboxing classes, too.
And even though I worked so hard, I don’t think I really saw any results. My weight increased despite spending so much time exercising. It really didn’t make any sense!
In hindsight, it was my body objecting to the intense workouts that made her feel abused and unloved. At the time, I hadn’t realized weight loss had to begin (and end) with self–love.
My choice of qigong this time was intuitively guided and the instant results I saw were such a confirming sign that this was the right path. Only after three days of gentle and relaxed movement, for about half an hour each time, I saw my legs and torso slim down. My face, becoming more chiseled, began glowing as if I was wearing makeup! I felt like I looked a few years younger, too.
What a blessed decision it was also, because as the week went by (and coupled with energy healing I do on myself), that I began to relax more into this divine and feminine bliss. For example, my time spent in the kitchen doing mundane things became very romantic and heartfelt, and throughout the day, I can’t stop smiling.
When I set out to do the qigong, I intended to help myself become in union within. I know that inner union is what yoga means and that it is yoga’s highest principle. For me, I found this inner union through qigong. I loved not having to make certain poses and hold them in place, but to surrender into a state of flow and gentle movement that just encourages the sweetest emotions in me to surface.
My personal philosophy is very much about feeling a sense of romance within and being deliciously in love with oneself. Any situations or people that I was annoyed with or obsessed with before suddenly faded away as if I am in my own dimension. I would love to stay here, and I know I can. It might take some practice to stay here permanently (or as much as it can be) so that outside circumstances don’t bring me out of this state. I am loving the moments of trying and arriving there.
I feel that feeling romantic inside makes everything softer, rosier, sweeter, and more beautiful. We don’t have to rush anywhere or accomplish anything and can take our time to arrive. I feel giggly inside and I feel fun doing nothing. Every breath really does feel like an exquisite love affair (as Sadhguru said).
I hope you are indulging in your own inner romance today, too.
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